Posts tagged life
Posts tagged life
The wind got knocked out of me when I realized I could hurt you like I’ve hurt other people. A part of it was because I don’t want to do that because they didn’t matter, and my hurting them was more a byproduct of their stubbornness, but also because it made me realize that you could be just like everyone else. Not in the way that I’ve been treated disrespectfully and downright poorly, but there’s really nothing stopping me from doing what I’ve done to everyone else, stuffing my whole life in a bag and leaving without looking back at you. You are special to me, but there’s literally nothing stopping me from walking away from you forever. So you better be scared.
I see a lot of my followers, especially the younger ones, blogging about nobody loving them, and I’ve got something to say about that. I used to think the same thing in high school and even college sometimes. Trust me, and I know you’ve heard this before, but you WILL find someone who loves you. That person in math class who doesn’t notice you today won’t matter when you’ve moved on, got a job and your own place. You’ll probably never see them again after you’re done with school. Everything people can’t love about you now will be loved by someone who actually matters. Enjoy yourself right now. Enjoy that you have time to think and be in total control of your life without having to make sacrifices for others yet. Please don’t waste your time feeling sad over someone who can’t see how beautiful you are. Life goes on and the world is a wacky, scary, awe-inspiring place. Take time to get to know it and be amazed by it. It will make finding “the one” that much more precious. Love yourself. Always. There are things in your future that haven’t even crossed your mind yet. Be patient. There’s an entire world out there.
Ok listen, everyone. There isn’t a damn person in this world who isn’t going to hurt you. That’s just the way it is. No one is perfect and even your truest love won’t always agree with you. The end result of love isn’t who managed to get by with the least amount of damage, it’s finding someone worth hurting for. It’s about walking the line between not wanting to get hurt and romanticizing hurt. You will get hurt, but it’s not always for the right reasons. There’s a middle ground between shutting yourself out of your own romantic life and spending all your time thinking about how hurt you are and how the person you love maybe doesn’t love you anymore, if they did at all.
Love someone who, even at their worst and even when you can barely stand them, you can feel that warmth and awe and intimate connection that keep you around when both of you are happy. Find someone who you can be upset with and still see the gentle, compassionate person you love ablaze in their eyes. Find someone who makes love scarier than the hurt but in such a pleasant way that any and all scorn and arguing and perhaps tears doesn’t matter in light of that love.
Friends, you will get hurt. But you don’t have to suffer.
Seeing a cool $5,000 in your bank account and then realizing your landlord hasn’t cashed the rent check yet
The Last Smoke After Last Call
Don’t smoke the whole thing, kid
life is good
live a half a second longer
I ate an orange today
that wasn’t very good, and
I wondered how I got myself here
judging the flavor
of things out of season,
making matter out of space
-M.T. 10:58 p.m. 2/20/12
Have you ever been so lost and confused about where your life is going or just feel so out-of-it that all you wanted to do was bury your face in food? Like literally just put your face in it and eat it? Like a horse?