In the Kingdom

The triumphs and travils of the little kingdom of Camelot

Posts tagged feminism

6 notes

Do you guys remember the time I made a post about all the times I was sexually harassed and assaulted, and MRAs reblogged it telling me to shut the fuck up and that I was stupid and that I wasn’t allowed to speak because my post didn’t give enough attention to men? I said I didn’t care about “misandry” because even if it existed, women should not have to sacrifice or make space in their movements because a lot of us are actively being destroyed and we don’t need someone else’s movement used as a weapon against us.

So what did MRAs do? They came at me, ridiculed me and continued to do so after I asked them to stop all in the name of male rape victims. Y’know, because they so obviously care about rape victims, which is why they spoke to me the way they did. Yes. Good ol’ caring MRAs. Always looking out for their own best interest. Oh wait, I meant “always looking out for other people.” Yes good.

Filed under feminism MRAs misandry bunch of jokers

4 notes

Rape self-care question?

Hi folks, I was wondering if any of you ever have nightmares not exactly related to rape or abuse during times of extreme stress, especially when you’ve been thinking a lot about your traumas? That is, do any of you have dreams that, regardless of content, make you wake up fearful and anxious (perhaps in or near tears) during times when your trauma has been a center focus? I keep having scary dreams that I wake up from feeling panicked, even though I’m not sure why, and I think it’s because I’ve been thinking about my rape a lot lately. Is this normal?

Thanks, everyone.

Filed under feminism rape tw rape self care selfcareafterrape

76 notes

It really bothers me when men laud scenes in films featuring violence against women as “cinematic masterpieces.” Their words may say film and art critique, but my mind only translates it as: “I think societal pressure means I can’t beat, harass, abuse or rape women, so I’ll just enjoy it on screen when I can use the excuse that it’s ‘only a movie’ to justify it.”

Filed under feminism misogyny rape tw rape culture misandry

2 notes

I think one of the scariest things about patriarchy is how men are taught to literally not care or bother to notice how a woman is feeling. Because you hear men say stuff like, “Well, it’s unfair to automatically make drunk sex rape! A woman could just regret fucking you, and you could be falsely accused!” or “If she started saying no, but ended up saying yes — because I swearsies I would’ve listened to her if she kept saying no — it’s not rape. That’s not fair. She wasn’t clear with me!” But the thing is, women DO make it obvious when they don’t want sexual relations with a man. Sometimes for her safety she will not be loud about it, but if you were listening, you would still be able to hear her say no. From the way she awkwardly smiles and doesn’t answer. To the way she just laughs nervously while trying to talk to other people. From the original “no.”

And that’s not to say a persistent man has never genuinely caught the interest of a woman who later did want to be his girlfriend or sleep with him. However, I must admit that even with the men who “seduced” me, they thought they were doing a fabulous job of getting my attention, but looking back, I’m certain they would have felt the same even if they weren’t. It’s not that it’s impossible for men to know what women are thinking. It’s that patriarchy taught them that it doesn’t matter. It is of no importance. That is horrifying.

Filed under feminism sexual harassment rape culture rape tw misogyny idk my mind is just all over the place right now

3 notes

I make a concerted effort
to be unable to be identified
No, not “not like other girls”
not acting a man

I will watch a hockey fight
with blood between my teeth
and one of the best things I own
will still be my mascara
I’ll kick you down with stiletto heels
and give you a history lesson
all about car racing in California
wax all night about the classic cars I’ve been in
inhaling the fumes again from memory

For you see I am not my decorations
I did not spend my life dedicated to beauty
I was born with this face
but I built my insides from a basic drawing table
I am all the sawdust and screws
the nightmares in my brain
and all I’ve filled it with
like buckets in a flood
I am more complicated than a photograph
you took clutching a camera to your lap
thinking yourself a spy

I am man made
Not made by man
I am the artist and canvas of myself
you are just a patron
paying to see my masterpiece

Filed under poetry poem feminism writing

5 notes

I guess I’m just putting this out in the universe so if I suddenly disappear, no one can say I didn’t “do enough” to stop it. I had a single conversation with a neighbor in the building Monday because he was talking to my roommate. I went outside later in the evening and he stopped me, talked to me and wanted to come over. I politely declined even as he pressed me about “how I felt about him.” He’s since come knocking on our door every single day. Sometimes he will ring our buzzer for three minutes. He will either start shouting my name or calling me “baby,” beseeching me to come out. Once he even pounded on my roommate’s wall to try to get someone to open up. I’m scared to leave the house and so are my roommates. I’m scared to be in the house alone, and if I think I hear him coming, I turn off all music, TV, what have you and tiptoe around the house. I’m afraid he won’t stop. I’m afraid he’ll hurt me if he ever comes across me again.

But feminism isn’t necessary, right? I should just take it as a compliment, right? This is why I take personal offense to anyone who suggests that “men have it just as bad” or that feminism is worthless or “full of angry bitches.” This is just a number on a long list of instances something like this has happened to me for literally nothing. Because I dared smile or make smalltalk with a man. Men don’t understand this pain. It doesn’t matter if they do these things or not. There’s just no way they could ever understand.

Filed under feminism street harassment sexual harassment misogyny rape culture help i am so frightened and that makes me very angry and sad and a whole range of emotions I'm too busy to deal with not again fuck