Posts tagged feminism
Posts tagged feminism
I guess I’m just putting this out in the universe so if I suddenly disappear, no one can say I didn’t “do enough” to stop it. I had a single conversation with a neighbor in the building Monday because he was talking to my roommate. I went outside later in the evening and he stopped me, talked to me and wanted to come over. I politely declined even as he pressed me about “how I felt about him.” He’s since come knocking on our door every single day. Sometimes he will ring our buzzer for three minutes. He will either start shouting my name or calling me “baby,” beseeching me to come out. Once he even pounded on my roommate’s wall to try to get someone to open up. I’m scared to leave the house and so are my roommates. I’m scared to be in the house alone, and if I think I hear him coming, I turn off all music, TV, what have you and tiptoe around the house. I’m afraid he won’t stop. I’m afraid he’ll hurt me if he ever comes across me again.
But feminism isn’t necessary, right? I should just take it as a compliment, right? This is why I take personal offense to anyone who suggests that “men have it just as bad” or that feminism is worthless or “full of angry bitches.” This is just a number on a long list of instances something like this has happened to me for literally nothing. Because I dared smile or make smalltalk with a man. Men don’t understand this pain. It doesn’t matter if they do these things or not. There’s just no way they could ever understand.
ALL pro-life protest is violent protest. It is literally impossible for it to be anything but. Thank you goodbye.
My apologies for thinking a lot about “misandry” lately, but I’m here to partially defend its necessity. Of course, misandry isn’t real, and in this dynamic I’d like to explain it’s no different. However, making men uncomfortable, hurting feelings and overall repulsing them with our arguments, statistics and causes is of the utmost importance not for the sheer sake of taking out our anger, but for correcting inappropriate, learned behaviors. Feminism is supposed to make men who don’t understand it feel disturbed. It is supposed to force them to evaluate what goes on in their own brains.
As for “you can’t fight hate with hate,” you are correct. But “misandry” isn’t done out of hate. It is retribution. Take for instance my two dogs, Ginger and Daisy. Ginger is a noble 10-year-old German shepherd and Daisy is a squirmy 2-year-old German shepherd. When Daisy was a puppy, she was rambunctious as could be expected and broke a lot of rules we had to teach her about. When Daisy broke the rules Ginger has already learned, Ginger would bite her. Now, Ginger knows not to bite. She knows that’s against the rules, too. But she also knew that Daisy needed to cooperate, and therefore broke one rule to enforce another. She demonstrated to her a powerful lesson: Actions have consequences, some more negative than others. If Ginger breaking the rules hurts Daisy, then Daisy breaking the rules hurts others, too.
Next time a woman, feminist or not, says something to you that makes you feel like she hates men, first question your own words. Think of yourselves in context. Are you perhaps the one who cast the first stone? Are you perhaps part of a larger problem? Try that first before trying to smash people in defense of your own ego. That said, Daisy eventually learned her lesson. Have you?
Literally every traumatic event in my life has been due to a man. This is why it is impossible for me to give a single iota of a fuck about “misandry.” I’m sorry that feminists hurt your feelings. Truly. That sucks and everything, but I cannot bow my head in shame about it when you turn your poor little hurt feelings into a political movement specifically to attack women. I cannot and will not pander to your ego. Until you know what it’s like to be sexually harassed in nearly every job you’ve ever worked at, had women force you to kiss them/hold their hands/touch them when you’ve made it clear that the answer was NO, to feel how helpless you are when you fight for your life and have no one notice or bother to help when you are being groped or near tears, to feel like you are nothing but a body, to be violated sexually, to experience all of this MULTIPLE TIMES by the time you’re in your early 20s, I really don’t care if you think some things are unfair for men. Because it’s easy to make demands when you are not actively being destroyed.
I love flipping off street harassers and watching them throw a tantrum like the giant, entitled manbabies that they are. Shove that weak ass “compliment” up your ass.
Here’s something that boggles me about men’s rights activism: Not only do most of its stances boil down to “anti-feminism” (notice it’s never labeled as pro-man), but who it chooses to defend is largely contingent on who agrees with them. Sure, it often blames “femininized” men on feminism, but it goes on to criticize men who behave like this and/or support feminism. Feminism has its enemies, and unfortunately some proponents of the opposition are women. However, in order for feminism to accomplish its goals, it believes its opponents who are women still deserve to reap the benefits of the cause. We may argue, but feminists often check other feminists on misogynistic tactics to undermine our opponents. Men’s rights activism willfully vilifies its opposers, even if they are men. Therefore, men’s rights activism is merely an attempt at a power shift, redistributing the power men already have to salvage an unjust system already in place.
You know, I just gotta say, a big reason why I’m so pro-choice is the fact that I think we need to be focusing more on people who actually exist in this world. I literally do not care what a woman* wants to do with a fetus as long as they’re safe about it, whether that’s receiving adequate pre-natal care or getting an abortion or being treated justly by the adoption system. I do not care what happens to a fetus because a fetus is not something that holds any significance to anyone else except the person carrying it. A fetus isn’t going to feed the poor, it isn’t going to save people from sexual slavery, it isn’t going to straighten out the economy, it isn’t going to create jobs. Meanwhile, a child going hungry and attending a school that’s severely underfunded is losing opportunities by the second — including opportunities to grow up to make a difference in this world — and they are suffering. How am I supposed to give a damn about a fetus some person may or may not be carrying when other people who exist outside a womb need money to pay the rent and feed themselves? We need to start worrying about the people we co-exist with, not distracting bullshit like “potential life.”
To anyone on this site considering abortion: DO NOT LISTEN TO PRO-LIFERS ON THIS SITE. DO NOT LISTEN TO LIFERS ANYWHERE.
It is YOUR choice. And ultimately, even if you do speak to a pro-choice person about it, your best bet is always to seek professional medical advice. Do not make decisions based on what ANY stranger on the Internet tells you to do. If someone posits their response to you as anything other than “it’s your choice,” stop speaking to them and run the other way.
But please for the love of any higher power that may happen to exist, the only advice you should be listening to is your own and a doctor’s. If you are considering abortion, seek professional care. Do not be manipulated. Stay safe and know that you are not a bad person. I may not be qualified to help you much, but you are welcome to come to me for comfort. I love you. Be as strong as you can.
Here’s the thing: Women not wanting to be around men is not misandry. If there’s any hint of seriousness in the statement, it’s typically supported by instances — isolated or lifelong — where men have hurt, violated, humiliated her and/or otherwise made her uncomfortable. Not because “boys r dum” or because they play video games or behave in some way that’s annoying.
This is what makes the reverse, “If I said I didn’t want to be around women, I’d be a sexist!” inherently ludicrous. Because if a man said a woman violated him or humiliated him in a way that made him feel stripped of his humanity, the general feminist population will — or at least should — be sympathetic. Trauma can be incredibly difficult to deal with, and everyone’s needs should be respected while they are recovering. The problem with the reverse is that the men who spout off about this aren’t implying that they should avoid women to avoid feeling triggered or otherwise pained. It’s because they don’t want women in their spaces because they are not on par with their standards, they are a nuisance and they do not feel they owe them that basic respect of allowing them to exist among them.
Sorry, being rejected by someone you were “in love with” or thinking women don’t understand you is not trauma. It is not sufficient enough reason to eschew womanhood and suggest that women sit behind some boundary when they are around you. And if you consider any of that trifling nonsense to be trauma, well — whose got the victim complex now?
It’s quite laughable that these purported “stop ALL bigotry” and/or egalitarian blogs only ever come after people who speak out against cishet white males.