In the Kingdom

Quiere cantar su alegria a mi tierra Mexicana

Posts tagged dating

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Go for someone you don’t feel like you have to impress in order to receive their attention, approval, time or love. Maybe at first you will be saddled by the worry that you need to be on your best behavior to leave a good impression, but when you find yourself more worried by what they think than who you are, consider that this person may be wrong for you. Romance should be a lovely feeling. Crave someone who makes you feel like you’re moving toward who you are organically. Find someone who is constructive praise and criticism all at once. Find someone who helps you find yourself all on your own. It probably sounds confounding now, but trust me that kind of person is out there.

Filed under dating love romance im serious guys

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"I’m not attracted to people with dark skin"

I’m getting really sick of people who say they’re not attracted to black people or Latin@s or Indian people or anyone with brown skin. I especially get annoyed when that person becomes indignant when someone suggests they’re racist.

We’ve all heard the excuse: “Omg! I can’t help what I like!” or “I’m not going to be sorry for what I prefer! Only I get to choose who I will date!”

Listen. No one is trying to chew you out for your tastes. No one’s insisting that you date someone who you don’t find attractive. It’s true that you are entitled to liking what you want. It’s true that you can’t necessarily be faulted for seeing a brown-skinned person and not being attracted to them. Really—date whoever you want.

But excuse me for raising an eyebrow when you GO OUT OF YOUR WAY to say you aren’t attracted to people of a certain race or whose skin tones are similar to mine.

Filed under racism PoC people of color racist Latinos Latina Latin@ blacks persons of color dating relationships

5 notes

Pro-tip for men: On asking for a woman’s phone number

If you ask a woman for her number after just meeting her, say, at a party, at a bar, on public transit or some other passing location, please keep in mind that she may have felt pressured by you (even if you didn’t meant it) or thought you were nice enough, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings even though she didn’t really plan on seeing you again. Therefore, you should test out the situation. How? Try calling or texting AT MOST three times (and even that is PUSHING IT) on different days. If she doesn’t answer at all or suddenly stops answering without ever answering again, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

She does not OWE you a date because you think she’s pretty or she gave you her number. This is not a green light for you to call and text every single day when she is clearly expressing NO interest in it. If a woman was doing that to YOU, you would be complaining to yor little bros that she’s a “psycho.” So knock it the fuck off.

And really, if you want a woman to give you her number with honesty, confidence and interest, stop acting like a wounded puppy when she tries to blow you off. Stop coming up with excuses for why she should do it. If she says no or is hesitant, the conversation is either OVER or needs to take a new direction. If she REALLY wants you to have her number, she won’t act surprised, stutter, mumble, ask questions, etc. She will say: “Sure, it’s…*insert number here.*” And honestly, if YOU want to put yourself out there that badly, why not willingly give her YOUR number and let her decide if she wants to talk to you again!? People really DO NOT understand how often women get harassed, threatened or even hurt or killed by crazy, entitled guys who are pissed that she won’t “put out.” That makes any such exchange with a man immediately seem dangerous to us. So instead of whining about how nice you are, why not actively try to make you interactions with women healthier and safer!?

Filed under feminism sexism misogyny feminist sexist misogynist men women dating

3 notes

Dear (many) men,

Sorry I…

  • Drag race
  • Drink crazy amounts of whiskey
  • Got into an Ivy League grad school
  • Am a crazy hockey (and football and baseball and basketball) fan
  • Cuss like a fucking sailor
  • Aspire to be an ass-kicking foreign correspondent for a major newspaper
  • Am moving to NY on my own
  • Smoke a lot of weed
  • Play video games
  • Will absolutely OWN your ass when it comes to nerd trivia
  • Read more than you do
  • Have a large vocabulary
  • Write in my spare time
  • Give good head (according to those who I’ve pleasured)
  • Openly/proudly admit I’m not a virgin
  • I’m an aggressive feminist
  • Plan on getting lots of tattoos
  • Like mosh pits
  • Will call you and anyone out on their bullshit

But I’m more sorry that many of you cannot appreciate women like me. I’m sorry you think “masculinity” in a woman is scary. Want to know something? Being afraid of tough women and rejecting them doesn’t make you look tough. Fighting tough with tough out of fear is cowardly and makes you look like a jackass. Sorry you feel like you can’t be the fabled “knight in shining armor” for me and many of the badass chicks I know, but it’s time to get over that delusion that you need to save your lover. Instead, why not learn how to stop being afraid and choosing the easy way out? You don’t look manly doing this and you’re passing up a lot of hardcore, inspiring women because of this misogyny crap.

My deepest sympathies for your patriarchal fuckery,

Filed under feminism dating sexism men women relationships feminist sexist